So, not only do I live at about 97% totality for the eclipse on Monday, but I’ve also been told by SEO experts that I should be really pushing the word “eclipse” to rank higher in search engine rankings. So basically I need to use the word eclipse to eclipse the levels of SEO that I’ve been getting recently…eclipse. Sorry, that last eclipse mention one was flagrant….eclipse.
My plan is to take a rip before the eclipse (see what I did there?) of Lemon Haze, and climb in my kayak to view the eclipse (drops mic). See below…eclipse.
If you’re going to partake during the eclipse (okay, that one was legit, and I digress) you might as well take the opportunity to contemplate the larger questions of life, “Why am I here?” “How many hits should I take?” “Wait, what the f–ck is an eclipse, anyway?”. No matter the questions, there’s really only one answer for such an event…humor. So let’s jump into our Top 5 “Must Have” Stoner Comedy Bits For The Eclipse.
#5 MasterDebating With Marijuana And Crystal Meth
It’s really almost impossible for me to think of stoner prep for an eclipse without thinking of Mitch Hedberg. While he left us too soon, his brand of “bourbon meets bong rips” humor is timeless. If you want your cheeks and your head to hurt after watching comedy, so you can spark more weed for medicinal purposes, Mitch should be your selection.
#4 Mitch Hedberg Live In Canada
If Mitch is the man, Steven Wright is The Godfather. Steven is so funny, that even delivering a straight, non-comical line, gets him laughs. If you are a cannabis consumer and you are unfamiliar with him, this next video is required viewing. Let my know in the comment section below if you think Steven eclipses Mitch, or Mitch eclipses Steven. OH SNAP! A DOUBLE! Eclipse.
#3: Steven Wrights First Appearance On National Television (Johnny Carson)
Do you like those little juicy burgers? How far would you go to have some White Castle on eclipse day? Oh shit, let’s face it, if you’re high and the moon is eclipsing the sun, you can have Jr. Whoppers and you’re mind will still be blown. You know what else will blow your mind on eclipse day? Watching a man marry, and then have sex with a bag of weed.
#2: Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle: Extended Dream Sequence.
You HAVE NOT forgotten to stock up on eclipse munchies have you? This is the f–king moon covering up (see I didn’t say eclipse this time) the sun and the last time there was an eclipse was in 1979, and the next one (eclipse, FYI) won’t be until 2023! So watch this next video and take notes. It’s from the classic stoner movie: Half Baked. Eclipse.
#1: Half Baked – The Munchies Scene
Alright! That’s all for this eclipse edition! Tomorrow we will have a day-before the eclipse edition and of course we will have a post eclipse wrap up. That is if Google hasn’t sh-t tanked me for saying the word eclipse too many times. PLEASE FOLLOW AND SHARE my blog. Look into my eyes. I’m pathetic. I need a fan base. I’m up to like three and you’d make four. I have faith in you.
Cheers. – Scojo