For my salute to Anthony Bourdain, please see the video. Below the video I will give you some thoughts about suicide from someone who shook it’s hand.
Whenever someone like Anthony Bourdain commits suicide, everyone jumps on social media with “what could we have done?” and “the national suicide hotline number is…” and while I applaud the behavior, as someone who walked up to suicide, shook hands with it and endured just long enough to walk away, trust me there is only so much that you can do about suicide. Suicide is the ultimate individual experience.
Some people call those who commit suicide “cowards”. I’d like to punch those people in front of their mothers. Suicide is not cowardice. “But why didn’t they think about their families and loved ones??”. Guess what, that’s likely the thing they thought about the most.
Suicide comes from a complete loss of hope. If there were any hopes in your mind, you’d still fight. You’ve either decided that your pain is so unquenchable that the pain you’re going to leave with your loved ones can’t compare, or that you being gone may actually relieve their pain.
Trust me. You think about your family. You think about everything.
The trend coming out of the media after this recent loss is saying we shouldn’t use the words “commit suicide” because it puts it in the shameful category of a crime. It’s “insensitive”. Guess what? People who want to commit suicide could give a fuck what you call it.
There are essentially two types of suicide. One comes after suffering a massive emotional trauma. The other comes after a long fight with depression.
I got lucky. I encountered the former. Those type of suicidal depressions have a simple, but difficult solution: Patience. If you can hang on for enough days, you are GUARANTEED to come out of it like a bad ass.
If you can face ending your life and yet live to tell the tale? From then on you will see every breath you take as a gift. I would never will what I went through on anyone, but it also was the most transformative experiences of my life.
I suspect that despite Anthony Bourdain’s open struggles with chemicals and personal demons, he likely succumb to this kind of suicide. I suspect he was just exhausted and fed up and perhaps after a deep dive into a bottle of something strong, made a hazy permanent solution to a temporary problem. There’s little, if anything, anyone could have done. But that’s just my opinion.
Those that commit suicide because of long term depression are actually not that hard to spot. You may not necessarily think they are suicidal, but if you got the news that they had, it wouldn’t completely surprise you.
Yes, there are things you can do to help these people avoid accepting their death sentence. Show concern, express love and support, and do so authentically or not at all.
But if you fail to stop a suicide, the last thing you should do is blame yourself. It’s not your fault. Even if you were the one that inflicted an emotional trauma on the person, it is not your fault. As I said at the top, suicide is likely the most individual experience you can have. None of them are the same. All of them are a choice.
I’m a video guy who has a decent affection for writing, but not that much, so I’m going to jump off of my suicide soapbox right here. Let’s shift toward focusing on the things in life that make it worth living. If we can choose darkness, we can also choose light. Trust me, seeking love and compassion in all of your doings is a lifestyle that comes with it’s own reward.
Tony, you will be missed. You had no idea I even existed and yet you had a significant impact on my life. Rest in peace, wild man. See you soon…ish.
Power To The Flower.
Scojo The Herb Advisor